Are you listening well ?

Etiquette and polish, both in personal and business settings, are linked to how well we communicate.

Most people think communication is all about speaking and devalue the importance of listening.

And many others don't realize what a vast difference there is between simply hearing what is being said and really listening.

People who know how to listen learn more, care more, and end up being the ones we want to be around socially as well as professionally.

Want to improve your listening skills?

Understand why you need to listen and remember to practice these tips the next time you conduct a conversation.

Are your eyes listening?

Your eyes are a dead giveaway if you are not listening.

When your mind wanders and you begin thinking of something or someone else, your eyes show your disinterest. And the person speaking to you is well aware that you are not paying attention.

And this is true even if you don't look away. Blank stares don't conceal boredom!

How can you know if you are a bad listener ?

A good listener uses his/ her eyes and mind while listening.

If you find yourself already formulating your next sentence in your mind while someone is speaking to you, you are doing injustice to the conversation.

You will get more out of the conversation if you understand, comprehend and assimilate what is being said BEFORE responding.

Good etiquette = listening!

Do you make these common listening mistakes?

The difference between being a good listener versus a great listener is using your heart in addition to your eyes and mind while listening.

Do you do this?

~ If a friend tells you something is wrong, you immediately tend to give advice or criticism.

~ If a friend tells you about something wonderful that has happened, you usually chip in with something similar that you have experienced.

Rarely do we share joy or sympathise with pain. Rarely do we just let others speak.

To improve your listening skills, practise with those closest to you.

When family members or friends share their thoughts and feelings, curtail the urge to relate what you hear to one of your own experiences.

What if a conversation bores you?

I believe 'interested people are interesting'.

Similarly, 'boring people get bored'.

You don't need to know a lot about a subject to have a conversation.

You just need to have a desire to learn, understand and make things interesting.

For example, if someone tells you they are a teacher, instead of saying, "That's nice," and moving on to the next topic, try to find out why they are teaching, how they decided on this profession and what their current thoughts on teaching are.

Dig deep and create meaningful conversations.

How do I get others to listen to me?

i. Listen more intently, question more, and speak with emotion.

Build interesting conversations instead of one-way lectures.

ii. Engage people while you speak. Ask questions like, "What do you think?" or "Do you agree?"

Try not to speak continuously for long periods. People tend to have short attention spans.

When you do not listen to what others are saying and only care to listen to your own voice, this is an indication that you really do not care for other people's opinions.

Think about who you really enjoy being around, at work or in your personal life. Usually it is those who really listen and care about you. Are you listening?

9 easy tips to deal with difficult customers

You are waiting in the queue in the mail. It's the weekend jamboree. Everyone is having fun --except the man ahead of you in the queue at the cash counter.

He is going through each item in the bill with the cash counter executive at least twice. Confirming the price and checking the number of items. The man's wife has already wandered off to another section. A task that normally would take the most experienced counter staff a maximum of five minutes now spills over to 10.

People behind you in the queue start getting restless. Finally, the man walks off with his shopping load. You heave a sigh of relief and start piling your purchases on the counter. Suddenly, the man is back. He shows the clerk some item in the list that is supposed to have some offer. Some misunderstanding ensues and the customer starts howling at the cash counter staff. The young girl is close to tears.

Identify the problem

What would you call a customer like that? Diffficult? Rita Dharap agrees vehemently. Rita works with a popular retail chain in Pune. "Almost all customers are difficult. They go through every item on the list with minute care. I can understand because it is after all their hard earned money," she says. "I would probably react the same way."

Smriti Jain, though, feels there is no excuse for such behaviour. "It just takes a little more to be nice to the person at the counter. I don't think that is too difficult. Most customers feel that just because they are spending money they own everything, including the staff," she opines, "Customers should remember that the person behind the counter is also human."

If you've been at the recieving end of customer complaints, here's help. Firstly, you can classify difficult customers as being:

~ Angry ~
~ Picky ~
~ Impatient ~
~ Demanding ~
~ Chatty ~
~ Intimidating ~

Never argue -- it'll only hurt you

All difficult customers can be dealt with. All you need is a little tact and some practice. Here are some tips to help you deal with the worst of the lot:

~ It is not personal
The most important thing is to realise that there is nothing personal about a difficult customer's behaviour. You and he/she are interacting professionally, not socially. Hence, there is no point in losing sweat over their behaviour.

~ Smile
It might be difficult to do this all the time, but smiling is a very good way to bridge barriers with customers. Do not change your demeanor even if the customer has a formidable look on his or her face.

~ Don't argue
Whatever the customer's contention, the client is always right. So, do not argue with the customer. This will only make him or her more irate.

~ Be patient
Patiently listen to what the customer has to say. Nod your head to indicate you understand what he or she is saying.

~ Provide solutions, if possible
If you can provide immediate solutions, do it. If you cannot, please direct the customer to the person who can. See that there is very little time lag within these activities.

The right attitude is a must
.When dealing with a difficult customer, do your best to be polite.

~ Choose your replies
It is necessary to be very careful when you reply. Anything you say can be misconstrued by a difficult customer. For example, do not blame the customer or your company. If there is a conflict, merely say: "Let me check with my team members and confirm the same with you."

~ Be empathic
Customers sense empathy. If you are warm and empathic it will reflect on your face and in your service.

~ Practice positive thinking
If you tend to get sulky and moody, try to practice positive thinking. If need be, participate in some activity that will stimulate positive thinking in you.

~ Keep your promises
A definite way of building customer satisfaction is to deliver on your promises. If you have assured a customer that you will get back to them, remember to do so, even if it is to say that you are working on the problem.

You cannot change the way a customer thinks, so don't try. Whatever the situation, your reaction and attitude is the only thing you can control -- so focus on them and all other concerns will eventually settle down.

Tips to become a successful entrepreneur

Indian entrepreneur? These two words no more ring a surprise. While entrepreneurs are blooming across small and big towns in India the people who support them convert their dreams into reality are inceasing as well.

The Indian Angel Network is one such organisation that invests in early stage businesses of entrepreneurs who can create immense value. The members of this network have prior entrepreneurial and/or operational experience that they bring to help nurture and grow early stage businesses.

Ranjit Shastri is one such influential member of the Indian Angel Network. He co-founded PSi, Inc, an investment advisory firm incorporated in New York with an associated company in India. PSi has assisted a wide range of international investors in India, including both strategic investors and private equity firms, in identifying opportunities in India.

In the first of a series where members of the Indian Angel Network offer their tips to entrepreneurs in India, Ranjit Shastri discusses his experience and what he has learnt from it. A Get Ahead Special.

Over the past couple of decades I've observed many entrepreneurs in India and abroad, and have seen some of them achieve great success and others stagnate or sink into oblivion. I've been asked to share some of these experiences, and can also share some more recent experiences that I've had through the Indian Angel Network, India's largest and only-pan India network of individual early stage investors, which has been instrumental in kick-starting a number of ventures in India.

The tips that I've listed below are not based on anything that I've read -- in fact, numerous books have been written on the subject -- but on real experiences with people that I've met and done business with over the years. This is not a scientific or exhaustive list, but the thoughts that have come immediately to mind. I'm sure my entrepreneurial friends will add many more ideas in articles that will follow in the future.

There are three sets of issues that one must consider when thinking about how to become an entrepreneur, particularly if you are born into a middle-class family of professionals (one or more of your parents work for a large company).

The first involves getting started, leaving a safe job or career prospects and jumping into the entrepreneurial fray.

The second issue has to do with maintaining and building a viable business, successfully scaling up so that one has not just managed to 'survive' but also to grow the business and create great value for investors.

Finally, there's the issue of knowing when to move on, either by selling the business or handing over to someone who can bring new energy, skills and ideas to bear. Let's take each of these issues in turn, and examine some of the things you can do to address them.

Getting started

Tip #1: Don't worry about not being courageous enough for the uncertainty of the business world, as being an entrepreneur has nothing to do with courage. People who observe entrepreneurs leaving a secure job and taking the plunge into the unknown sometimes marvel at their courage (or foolhardiness).

Most successful entrepreneurs that I've met, however, don't see themselves as particularly brave. In fact, they do a lot of homework and make contingency plans that take into account the possibility of failure.

I've met a number of entrepreneurs who have left McKinsey & Co., my first employer after business school, because they recognised that becoming a director at McKinsey is not guaranteed for even some of the hardest working, smartest people that you come across in the business world.

Becoming a director at any large organisation has much to do with factors that are not in your control, including personal relationships and the economic cycle that the company happens to be in when promotion decisions are made. While organisations try to be fair, they operate in a world that isn't, and if you recognise that staying put is not necessarily safe you are more likely to get over the fear of venturing out.

Tip #2: Look for a big idea, and be rational.

There's no point taking a big risk if you have a small idea, and from an economic perspective, it's logical to concentrate on expected value, which means the potential value creation times the probability of actually achieving it. So if your job is 100% secure, and the chances of entrepreneurial success are only 10%, then compare your future salary against the expected future value of your venture (the 'payoff') times 10%.

If the expected value (payoff times 10%) is more than your salary, then logically you should give it a try. However, most people are irrationally risk averse, so if the expected value is not vastly higher than their salary, they would opt for the more certain outcome.

On the other hand, people who are destined to become entrepreneurs are more likely to be sceptical about the security of their job, so they wouldn't assign a 100% probability to the so-called safe option.

Tip #3: Start small.

In Tip #2, I said it's important to think big, but for most entrepreneurs it's also important to start small. A good example is SchoolTrainer, which was started by a Delhi-based Hindi and Math tutor. He has a big idea, but has started out small (just himself).

He currently has less than 100 teachers on his panel, but expects to scale up to a thousand over the next few years. Starting small enables you to experiment, work out the bugs in your systems, and prove your idea. The discipline of a tight budget also forces small companies to do what customers ask them to do. Companies that start operations with a lot of resources often scale up too quickly, waste money and enjoy the luxury of not having to listen to customers.

Tip #4: When faced with the fear of giving up a secure job, concentrate on the equally frightening possibility of someday looking back with regret.

In other words, if you think the risk of entrepreneurship is high, consider the risk of losing a fortune by letting an opportunity slip out of your hands. Of course, explaining this to conservative family members (usually a parent or spouse) may be difficult. For some people, even a 10% chance of failure is too high to contemplate, no matter how big the potential payoff is.

A 90% chance of failure is out of the question. Conservative family members will only be convinced if you have an airtight back up plan, which leads to Tip #5.

Tip #5: Have a backup plan.

One entrepreneur I know asked his employer, a very prestigious professional services firm, for a leave of absence. This gave him time to verify that his idea had merit. He knew that if he failed (which he assumed was likely), he could always return to the relative safety of a conventional career. His friends and acquaintances thought he was gutsy, but he knew he had a safety net.

In the end, he was able to prove his idea during his leave of absence and was able confidently to convert his leave of absence into a separation. He was shrewd, not brave.

Easy and Difficult

Easy and Difficult

An interesting email I received from one of my friend Thank you So much for sharing.

Easy is to get a place in someone’s address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone’s heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound…

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them…

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream…

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity…

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side…

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up…

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value…

How To Manage Situational Stress?

Well, it could have been anything from an earthquake to the disconnection of your telephone line. This is situational stress. It occurs when you are not able to chalk a way out of a particular situation.

It could occur anywhere – at home, workplace, school, while driving or in relationships. One needs to maintain the right frame of mind and stay calm to cope with such circumstances. Major catastrophes result into severe stress and one has to handle it smartly.

You can experience situational stress at home, with your kids or spouse. Apart from home, all social conditions carry the possibilities of situational stress. It could be at school/college, at market place, at gym, at your club, or any other social gathering.


The following steps can help you pave a path for yourself:

A) Evaluate the magnitude of the problem: Is the problem too big to handle? What exactly is the severity of it? Is it actually under your control? These are some questions you need to ask yourself

B) Exercise the maximum possible control: Do whatever you can to control the situation. Make full efforts to handle the crisis.

C) Gather as much information as possible: Suppose it is an earthquake and your mom is out for shopping. You would obviously feel stressed and would like to know whether she is safe. All you need to do is gather information pertaining to her whereabouts.

D) Do not isolate yourself: Do not build a glass cabin around you. DO not be under the impression that you alone can only solve the problem.


E) Set goals: Frame your goals. What exactly are you looking forward to? What do you want to do in the prevailing situation? How would you have liked to handle the situation?

F) Accept the fact that your reaction is the only thing you can control: You need to realize that it's just your reaction that you can control. What is happening is just not within your reach.

G) Take care of yourself: Eat properly and take proper rest. Generally people do not pay attention to their health and nutrition, when faced with a stressful situation, which is definitely wrong. It is very important because it gives you the strength to fight against the problem.

H) Ask others for help: There is no harm in asking others for help. Sometimes when your mind has already reached a stagnation point, others' ideas can really work wonders.

I) Let not the crisis multiply: Try your level best to stop the crisis from multiplying. Let the problem not get bigger.

J) A short term therapy is not a bad idea: You can also go in for a short term therapy and thus gain some relief and piece of mind.

If none of the above stated is able to provide relief, you need not fret. Certain stress management medications and techniques can pull you out of the stressful situation.

6 Steps To Stress Avoidance

6 Steps To Stress Avoidance

certainly agree with the author that a little stress can help us to function better while too much of it will do harm to us; both physically and mentally. Prevention is always better than cure. Wishing everyone great health.

Anything taken too much is bad for the health, and the long term effects of stress are well documented, which is why it is such an important area. As with everything in life prevention is always better than cure so I have provided 6 steps to help you avoid becoming stressful.

A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

I recommend you see a stress counselor if you think you may be suffering from stress but there are a few preventative things you can do for yourself:

Write it out, schedule it out.

Overwhelm is a result of having too much in your head to deal with so write it down, get it out of your head and down on paper.

You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time. It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present. Just focus in on your one task, whether that task is spending time with the kids, or writing the next chapter of your book. Block time in your schedule for your most important tasks to ensure you experience balance.

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Also spend time relaxing in between your work, just 2 minutes with your eyes closed standing out in the fresh air is enough to bring back mental alertness and to help you feel calmer. I recommend 10 minutes away from your desk every few hours. Taking this time for yourself will mean that you come back stronger and more focused. The longer you spend working without a break the more your effectiveness diminishes.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You really don’t have to do everything all at once and you definitely don’t have to do everything on your own. Get into the habit of asking for help, or paying for help. When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once. Remember that delegating does not mean leaving someone to get on with it and forgetting about it, because if that person makes an error you end up feeling even more stressful. Make sure you check up on progress and let them know that they should ask you if they are unsure about anything.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task. Also, it is really easy to spend your time in the future, thinking about how wonderful life will be when you finally complete your task or goal. However, usually when we get there, there are no celebrations because we are on to the next “thing to do.” By giving yourself a reward (something that doesn’t cost anything is the best reward!) you acknowledge where you are at, that you have completed another step. And when you get to your final destination success tastes sweet!

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

I recommend everyone take a full hour away from their desk, many people find this difficult to do but it is really essential if you want to avoid stress. Invite a work colleague to go with you or spend the time in quiet contemplation. If you need to set outlook to signal when you need to take an hour, or set your cell phone alarm to go off, then no matter what you are doing stop, get up, and walk away. I promise you that you will return with more energy and creativity than you left with!

I hope you enjoyed reading these six steps and that you will choose to take one and use today, taking action is the prime step towards stress avoidance, or if you are already feeling the effects of stress.

While a little of everything is good for us, too much of anything isn’t and it is always better to learn how to relax and avoid stress than it is to have to learn how to deal with overcoming it. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

The Path Of learning!

The Path Of learning!

If you find a path with no obstacles--it is probably a path that doesn't lead anywhere!

"I have an immense treasure: My ignorance.

For me it is a great joy to overcome it. If I can get others to profit from what I acquire, I have twice as much joy. As long as I go on discovering new things, life will be beautiful, but it will be too short for everything I want to learn."

Progress has little to do with speed, but much to do with direction.

Enthusiasm is the all-essential human jet propellant. It is the driving force which elevates men to miracle workers. It begets boldness, courage; kindles confidence; overcomes doubts. It creates endless energy, the source of all accomplishment.

"Every great movement in the annals of history," said Emerson, "is the triumph of enthusiasm."It is derived, that magic name, from two Greek words: "en" meaning "in" & "theos" meaning "God." Enthusiasm is literally "God in us." The enthusiastic man is one who speaks as if he were possessed...

Don't envy anybody. Every person has something no other person has. Develop that one thing & make it outstanding.
The normal reaction to a new idea is to think of reasons why it can't be done.

Perhaps it is a good thing that you haven't seen all your dreams come true. For if you got all you wished for immediately, you would be miserable.

Alexander the Great conquered the world, but died of sheer boredom.

To be forever reaching out, to remain unsatisfied, is the key to spiritual progress.

In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage, so long are you young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old.

One of his neighbors, the mother of a ten-year-old girl, noticed that the child often visited Einstein's house.
The woman wondered at this, and the child explained: "I had trouble with my homework in arithmetic. People said that at No. 112 there lives a very big mathematician, who is also a very good man. I asked him to help me. He was very willing, and explained everything very well. He said I should come whenever I find a problem too difficult."

Alarmed at the child's boldness, the girl's mother went to Einstein to apologize. Einstein said, "You don't have to excuse yourself. I have learned more from the conversations with the child than she has from me."

"It's too hard"

"I quit" "I give up" "I just can't do it anymore"
I always cringe and become a little sad when I hear someone say/write those words। Yes, it might be hard... building a lasting relationship is hard, so maybe it SHOULD be hard to find a good partner.

The loss of hope always upsets me...for without hope...what have you left? If you do quit, give up .... can you find a measure of peace or happiness? You have invested time and energy to determine what you seek, what your limits are, etc। To give that all up...for what? An existence... not LIFE... just an existence. When you give up on your goals and dreams, you give up on yourself. How can you ever find peace or happiness that way?

I always think...if they held on just a little longer॥how do they know that what they seek isn't just down the road a little further? Each of us has to find the right one। Every failed relationship teaches us something about ourselves and what we seek. That in turn helps us to refine our goals and we grow and evolve.

Now to be sure, sometimes we find in that process that we were really seeking something entirely different। That isn't giving up...it is merely altering our path.
There is nothing sadder to my thinking than the words "I give up।"

When hurt is quelching the light of hope, it's so easy to let those words come out। But, if we look really close, there are still embers of that hope left burning. The key is to letting friends and loved ones help to stoke those embers so they become flames again.

Never give up .......

If you want your Dreams come true and not remain only as Dreams...
No matter the time, no matter the path, no matter the obstacles....
At the end it is worth to wait and try hard.....
for what will come and be with You.....

There have been times in my life I have felt that I had not given up, but that all of the hope I could try to hold, like so much sand, slipped through my fingers। There is always, however, a few grains left, and that is all one needs to get that feeling kick-started again.

You only know what winning feels like, a victory, if you have failed before.
Without 'losing' or getting 'hurt' in life no one can relish and savor the REALLY great things in life!

The art of saying, "No."

So you're one of these people who through no fault of your own have a weakness for something, and when that weakness presents itself; you can't say no to it.

It's not because you crave it. It's not even because you WANT it or NEED it. It's because you don't want to cause upset or hurt with your desire to say no. So rather than say no and actually make yourself clear, you would sooner say yes and go along with things, get yourself into a situation you don't want to be in; purely for the purposes of not causing upset.

Naturally this is very bad for yourself and your equilibrium, but not only that; it's very unfair on the other because you're not being honest, you're lying by default.

This doesn't make you a BAD person. It makes you HUMAN.

Unfortunately many people will tell you you're a player for this, and some will even turn into complete morons and stalk about your life telling you how bad you are, never leaving you alone and behaving like a fucking cheerleader on crack that was just laid by the cricket captain in highschool, and then wondering why he won't marry her, give her the kids and a lil white picket fence.

Frankly, out of the two I think the latter is the nutcase and needs a damned good slap. But that's just me.

In order to preserve your sense of worth and peace of mind, you need to learn how say no. The first few times it'll be hard, and yes there is likely to be some comeback from the upset party, but you cannot be blamed for your own sense of preference, and people not getting it when you try and say you're not keen on idea. It is purely willful ignorance on their part.

I'll explain why.

When someone wants something from you, or you in yourself, unless you out and out say NO, they will take any other statement as the permission to go ahead because you haven't made something abundantly clear by saying, "no."

And because they want it or you so badly, they will push, push, PUSH until you feel so utterly vulnerable that you just give in and give them what they want. Quite often they believe that you do indeed want it, you just won't admit it. In some cases that may be true, but not in all. And it is the willful ignorance on their part that makes THAT bad. It's called crossing the line.

Of course some people refuse to accept that you won't bend to their will, but that's their problem and stupidity and not yours. Ask them how that's working for them a few years later.

Quite simply, it doesn't matter how much someone or something is coming toward you or how hard, stop them short and say, "NO." If they come at you using a medium that makes it difficult for you to express that, then switch to media that allows you to. Do it brutally. Without emotion - but be firm.

Ways of saying "no", are varied of course. But sometimes the simple word in itself is enough especially if you want the very brutal approach. Even more so if it seems out of character for you - but here's the thing, because it is out of character for you it is all the more effective.

And when you keep it up and show people that when you say no, it MEANS no; they will listen to you on first go.

The key is getting yourself used to it first. Everyone else comes later.

The word "no", holds a lot of power. The more you say it when you need to, the more you will be used to saying it; and the less guilty you will feel for saying it.

ETA: If this post resonates with you, you are either someone who needs to learn the value of the word, "no" as in to SAY it, or to LISTEN to it when it is applied, or variations there of.

People don't just use that little word, to say it with. Be mindful where you tread. Don't ignore the signs because they lead to a whole world of regret if you do.